It made me face my female body in a way I never had before. I thought it would be hard to not always know when to expect my period, however, I quickly realized that there were many ways to monitor my cycle. Apps are actually of great help though not perfect. The main difficulties came from visible body changes. I have become so aware of my breasts that they made me uncomfortable.

Ancient Candle Co – Pregnant torso candle

Everything about them seemed to take more space. They became so full, that I thought I might be pregnant. This fact alone gave me a lot of anxiety. However, my overall mood has been more stable and positive than before. I know it sounds paradoxical but that is just my truth. I honestly can’t say if this is related to being off the pill or if it’s a coincidence, but my anxiety has been less overwhelming.

Meli The Lover – The She-shells

On the brighter side, my skin cleared and has been as neat as it could be since I have been of the effect of Accutane. I don’t do well with changes in my physical appearance, unfortunately. While I am fully aware that we change every day and that it’s actually very normal, I find it very hard to constantly adapt to my own self. And I mean, “good” or “bad”, it doesn’t matter. I just like things to feel familiar when it comes to my body.Deco Scene – body vases

This whole thing led me to rethink a lot of aspects of life and education. I feel that society doesn’t prepare us for the reality of being human. I think that we are almost lied to if I am being honest. If it wasn’t for social media I would never know how a post-partum body looks like because I haven’t been around postpartum bodies myself.Art by Kayla Rose – Wire body earrings

It also made me quite furious that we, as women have to always carry the weight of our fertility while men barely have to think about putting on a condom. I do insist a lot on my partner knowing exactly what’s going on with my cycle, my hormonal contraception or lack of. But I can’t help but feel that it is very unfair that we do have to be the most “responsible” all the time.
SK raft Design – body vase

It’s nothing new of course. I was aware of that before, but I think I was so used to taking my pill, and deal with those things that it was just like “whatever, it is what it is”. After I stopped taking the pill, I became ultra-aware of my fertility and what it means. I am aware of my responsibility to not bring a new life into this world if I am not ready for it and that in itself is quite scary. I have nothing to rely on except myself if I don’t want to alter my body functions. And condoms, of course, though they do break.

Natural You – body vase

I do wish the human body was a little bit more evolved. Like can you imagine if we could open the gates whenever we feel ready to release our eggs? And keep them closed otherwise? I wish.

Anyway, I also started thinking about my femininity. How we constantly grow as women. (Not saying that men don’t grow but I am not a man so I have no idea how they deal with it).
3Decolor- Sculpture

It seems that puberty doesn’t stop but truly just slows down as we get older. And we have no real control over it. I often think about the fact that if we lived naked, we would be more aware of that. THhomeandgarden- Vase

We would know how different bodies behave differently, and how normal it is to change. Clothes are truly deceiving. We would know that breasts aren’t meant to stay the same. Actually, did you know that women’s breasts never fully mature if they never get pregnant? It might be a bit clumsy to phrase it this way, but what I mean is that they never reach the full potential of their evolution (and I mean it in a very neutral way).

This hause – resine statue

As we get pregnant, new things appear inside that will never come if we don’t create a new life. I guess it makes sense but I think it’s still important to know it. We don’t grow all ready to have a kid. It’s the kid that makes our body grow and get ready for them. I personally don’t think I truly want to mature all that much but it’s very interesting. Chloe Smart Print- Natural forms

I truly wish we didn’t live in a world that only praises youth. That only wants to see people as static and that forces us to work hard to stay in only one stage of our life and evolution. Because change is inevitable. Charlottewillcoxart – Natural rainbows

How often have I heard my elders brag about how beautiful they used to be. Sometimes even comparing themselves to me as if it was a competition – I find this quite toxic by the way. I have heard many older women say that beauty is for the youths. As if they now have lost access to it and must rely on things like being mums or grandmas to prove how useful they’ve been to the world. Nadine Kruithof- Star

In some ways, it breaks my heart. I do not want to think that beauty and children is all the world sees in my womanity. It also makes me sad to think that we all have to grow through these difficult body changes often without being prepared for them in a positive way.Bohemmebroidery- Embroidery kit

I think we should learn about those things at school and not just discover them as they happen to us. It would probably be so much smoother. If we learn about period why don’t we learn about stretch marks? Why don’t we learn that breasts evolve during our entire life in ways that are so much more complex than just firm vs soft?Original Approach – print

I think school truly doesn’t prepare anyone for life. It barely prepares us for school. Anyway… I have many thoughts I could keep sharing but maybe I will have to do a part two…Sexy fation – Karen
In the meantime, have a look at this selection of things I have seen on Etsy and that inspire me to decorate my apartment… I just want to live this weird womanity fully since I can’t escape it. It has its perks obviously, I am happy to be born the way I am.
Honeyy Pot art- Honey pot

xoxo Wen